TEKIAH!!!!

Prepping for Rosh Hashanah 2010!

I'm pretty sure that this guy wasn't too happy with the fact that I was using his lost horn as my personal Shofar. But...it just so happens that this is the resident goat stud whose sole responsibility is to impregnate the rest of the herd...so, I think he'll get over it real quick!

Who's The Boss?

Our first stop of the day was to the 54 acre goat farm of Hughes de Laye.

Ferme Caprine de Maury is the home to 70 goats which produce 200 liters of goat cheese/day, each log of cheese weighing 1.4 liters.

While it may appear that Hughes is running the show at the farm, there is someone else that definitely thinks otherwise...

Oreo the goat-herded dog is the real alpha male on the farm. Hughes told us that at 7 yrs old, Oreo began to develop an ego and often times Hughes will have to remind Oreo who's in charge.

After Hughes established who the boss of the farm was, I asked if there was a dominant goat in the herd. To this question, Hughes unleashed a horrific tale of how in 2005 a young female goat started to make strategic moves in order to lead the herd. This lady goat killed 4 of her goat-compadres in order to rise into power and has held the crown ever since!

Tart Time with Chef Kathryn

Breakfast at 7:30AM...on vacation...are you for reals?

Well, it was certainly worth it once I learned of our early morning lesson with Chef Kathryn. Before I could even down my first cup of coffee, we were reviewing the recipes for an assortment of classic French savory tarts.

Who loves savory tarts? I do!

The lesson included the following dishes:

1. Chevre Rosemary Tart with Mealy Walnut Dough
2. Onion, Bacon, and Gruyere Tart on Pate Brisee
3. Roasted Tomato Basil Tart on Whole Wheat Puff Pastry
4. Brittany Kouing Amann

l'Aile ou la Cuisse

Towards the end of dinner, Chef Pascal and Bernard suggested that we watch a classic French comedy, entitled l'Aile ou la Casse (the wing and the thigh), featuring Louis de Funes. As I had fair share of wine with dinner, coupled with the incredible English language over-dubs, the movie was actually quite funny. It was the story of an undercover food critic named messieurs Douchiman (pronounced Douche Man) who was trying to publish a Zagats style comprehensive French restaurant guide. Oh the trouble that ensues as his son would rather be a clown in a travelling circus, his top secret reviews are stolen, and he eventually loses his taste buds.

Supper Time!

Our long first full day ended back at le Moulin Bregeon.

Chef Pascal had a reeediculous 4 course dinner prepared for us:

1. Carrot veloute soup with pine nuts, potato, cumin and garnished with creme fraiche and parsley
2. Blanquette de Veau with fresh romensco and rice timbales
3. Cheese tasting: Roquefort, Morbier, Morols, Pont l'eveque, and Brebis cors herb
4. Creme carmel with orange.

It quickly became apparent to the group that during every meal I seemed to rumage through my pockets and eventually pull out some type of pill that I would pop into my mouth...that's right kiddies, Chefonz is lactose intolerant...or as my friend Dana says, I'm a lactard.

I also have a friend, Marco, who insists that someday he is going to ghost write my life story and the title of the biography is "Shut Up and Take Your Fuckin' Lactaid!"

Combier Distillery

Next stop...the Combier Distillery. Founded by Jean Batiste in 1834, Combier takes credit for creating and manufactuing the finest Triple Sec, hence their motto "La Beaute Du Zeste!" Along with Triple Sec, Combier was also one of the primary manufacturers of Absinthe! Unfortunately, Absinthe production was banned from 1915-1988...but it's back baby! There is actually a picture of me below holding the wormwood grain that produces authentic Absinthe.

The actual distillery equipment room was originally designed by Gustave Eiffel...you know, that guy who created the tower.

The front gates of the distillery looked like the outside of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. I half expected some drunken oompa loompa's to be in the back room chugging Pastis and Cognac all morning.

Why do I know so much about the Combier Distillery? It may be because I didn't have a change of clothes out of my chef whites, so I was walking around the tour in my kitchen gear...we believe the tour guide thought I was a fancy-schmancy American chef galavanting around the french countryside.

One of my favorite moments of the day was realizing that I didn't have my wallet on me...which ultimately led to Pamela, our designated non-drinker, having to pony up and spot me so I could buy a bottle of Absinthe. Thanks again Pam, I will think of you with every glass of that sweet nectar!

Musee Du Champignon

Next stop, the Mushroom Museum

(insert drug reference here...)

Tell me this kid isn't trippin' his face off!

Le Musee du Champignon is a fully operational production site tucked away deep inside a dark, moldy cave.

There were a couple of things that kept running through my head making me laugh to myself as we were wandering through the production site.

1. I see a family with a two kids who are obviously not as excited to be wandering the mushroom caves as we were and I kept thinking about my dad quoting Clark Griswald in National Lampoon's Vacation, "Hey kids, everyone in the car...that is unless you don't want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth.
2. Then I saw a sign on the wall that talked about how mushrooms are formed and I started thinking about JB quoting Dr. Egon Spengler from Ghostbusters, "In my spare time I like to collect spores, mold, and fungus"
3. Finally, as I we reached an area of the site that had active mushrooms growing from bricks of manure hanging from the ceiling, I kept thinking about George Costanza from Seinfeld trying to justify why it's ok that he stepped in horse shit, "Horse manure's not that bad. I don't even mind the word "manure." You know, it's "newer" which is good and a "ma" in front of it, MA-NURE. When you consider the other choices, “manure” is actually pretty refreshing."